My dear lost moments,
I am at this moment travelling down the memory lane. It was about 40 years ago when I was a student. My school days were not over. Attending the school and playing with friends were my regular pastime. Cricket and football were our favourite sports. There was a huge playground near my house where all the boys of the colony used to assemble in the evening and play. After the games we chatted and discussed on various issues for some time. Often we played pranks on our friends also.
There was a small colony comprising 4 to 5 houses in one row. In the last house of the row, a couple of houses away from my house, one of my father’s colleague was living with his family. There was a young girl, Anu, of my age and two little ones, a son and a daughter. Uncle was a simple fellow who belonged to rural background. Incidentally, he never parted with his old habits despite living in a city for a number of years. There were other houses also in the colony where the children or teenagers of my age were living happily. It was a small colony but full of life. As usual our daily life had been a mix of a little bit of tensions on the study front and plesures of spending time with friends. Now I can say that it was the best time of my life.
One day Anu came to my house which was not an unusual thing. We used to go daily to each-other’s house in a friendly manner. But that day had brought many surprises for me. Anu, after talking to my mother for some time, straightaway entered my study room. I was reading one of my subject book. It appeared that she was in hurry. She called my name in hushed tones and then suddenly put a piece of paper opening my right palm. Thereafter, without looking at me she slipped away. I even called her but she was gone. It was indeed surprising and came as a shock. But that was the day of shocks. After a while, I dared to open the folds of paper. It was a letter addressed to me. I hurriedly scanned it through my eyes. The very first line gave me a jolt and I could not read the letter further. I was in the state of trance. It was a love letter. For some time I just lost senses and it took me some time to return back to normal. This was my very first moment of feeling love. I suddenly felt that I have grown up from a teenager to adult. I was passing through a very strange mindset. Something was giving me a very nice feeling. At the same time, I was frightened also. I was alarmed that if either of my parent finds even a hint of it, my life would become a hell. Since my house was a small one, it was not possible for me to keep it with me. So I hurriedly placed it beneath the newspaper laid on a wooden board on which several other items were put having no immediate use. For sometimes, I kept on enquiring whether somebody had got this latter or not.
But times move so fast that many a times we are not able to cope up with it. Gradually, I became busy in my studies and two years elapsed. In the meanwhile, I almost forgot about the letter. Anu met me several times, but no reference of letter was broached by her. After a year or two her marriage took place and she finally left for her husband’s place.
One day, after a long time I recalled about the letter and immediately started searching it. I put my hand beneath the newspaper on the wooden board and scanned through scrupulously. To my great astonishment, the letter was not there. Somebody had got that letter in my house for sure, but the matter was never disclosed before anybody. It was the end of the story.
However, the loss of letter made me sad. It was my first love letter, but out of unknown fear I could not read it. Nor could I respond to her in a befitting manner. Even I could not respect her tender feelings towards me. Worst of all, by the time I could muster enough courage, the letter was lost. I lost control over my senses in that particularly precious moment few years ago. Should I call it destiny? I don’t know. Maybe you can suggest an appropriate answer as you had been the only witness to those moments. Maybe you will respond someday! But till then I take your leave. Waiting for your reply always,
I’m yours truly,
A Friend forever.
Author: Rakesh Chandra
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